Gossip Gone Wild!

First I would like to say how grateful I am for those who see me as a trusted source to process some of life's messiest situations. I think I should also clarify immediately at the fore front of this blog that this is in no way directed at you reading this. This is for you reading this. If you think this is about you specifically in any way and at any point, just finish reading this, call me and we'll hopefully just clear that mess right up.

Let’s talk about gossip.

What's the difference between-

 

the destructive and energy draining forms of gossip, running our mouths, or self-seeking behaviors that put others down so someone else can move up 

vs .

the creative processing of what's going on in our lives with another human being?

 

My daughter often thinks I don't understand or remember what life is like as a teenager. This topic is something that happens quite frequently at her younger age. What's most unfortunate is that this behavior I'm discussing is hard to forget because it can continue way into adult life if we do not cultivate different ways to resolve situations we face.

Whether I am working with someone or speaking with someone that is a friend or part of my family, I make sure it is a completely open forum for this person to let it all out. They can share their perspective no matter how on or off point it is or seems to be. Let it flow and let it go. This is often an important part of the process for healing. Allowing someone to be authentic and honest with themselves and talking out situation with another human being can be extremely helpful.

What happens next is what determines whether this conversation is going to remain destructive or transform into a creative and beautiful process that changes everyone involved for the better. The most important and defining difference in the conversation of the gossip and someone who wants to process a situation, is the action. This is where creativity gets to come in, and I love me some creativity!

For the sake of this blog I am going to use my book  Embracing The Spark  and the chart found in Chapter 10, “Making the Most of Your Actions: Getting Creative.” Using this chart I can easily find words in the destructive column that align with the act of gossiping or self-seeking. On quick review of the list, here are some that could work in the destructive column:

Unsettle, Disempower, Invalidate, Ruin, and Misunderstand.

Whether the rumors are about you, or someone else, the negative talk could be affecting one or more people in the situation in sat least one or several of these ways mentioned above. Trust me, there were more. I chose to stop at five actions.

If we then look to the creative action on the opposite side of the list that correlates to each of these words we will find the words:
 

Establish, Inspire, Dream, Devise, and Conceive.

(Wow, do those words already sound and feel better or what??)

When we engage in a conversation about a rumor, speaking negatively about someone who may have hurt us directly or indirectly, or talking about someone who did this or that to someone other than us, we are acting more in alignment with destructive behaviors. These behaviors naturally develop into less favorable transition points for our energy, feelings, and thoughts. Our relationships with others can now become negatively impacted whether we are involved or not in the situation from this space forward.

Although we can’t always avoid a conversation like this, we can however find a creative solution and action that leaves us with a more favorable transition point for forward movement. Just because we are looking for a creative solution, doesn’t mean we are trying to control or manipulate an outcome. It means we are choosing to stop the ball the negative behavior from rolling down the metaphorical hill and transmuting it into a more sustainable form of energy for ourselves.

Let’s look at the creative words I found earlier with the chart and ways we can use them.

 

·         Devise- You may have already recognized that by Devising a plan of creative action is already pulling us out of the destructive behavior into a constructive one.

·         Conceive- You may want to contemplate the actions of the “offender” by trying to understand or Conceive where they were coming from when the “offense” occured.

·         Establish- If we don’t have any idea how to understand where that person was coming from, and the relationship in distress is a valued one, we may want to Establish a dialogue with the person to stop the rumor or gossip in its path.

·         Dream- Rather than letting the rumors invalidate you or your work or whatever the situation may be, keep Dreaming. A lot of haters show up when you start pursuing your dreams and self-seeking of others will show right up.

·         Inspire- Let the gossip Inspire you to be a better human being or let go of the people in your life that aren’t kind or care enough about you to Establish the dialogue with you. Let them be a reflection of what you'd rather not be.

Whatever you choose to do with your creativity, don’t worry about how the other person may or may not react. This is a gift you are giving yourself. You are choosing more favorable transition points for your energy and well-being moving forward. As we change, heal and love ourselves, we do this for the world. This is how we end gossip, self-seeking, and disempowering talk between us and those around us.

If at the end of the dialogue with your trusted companion, you find absolutely no creative action is necessary for you to make because what you’re talking about is really not yours to get involved in, try this-   

 

Establish a connection with your top and bottom lip

by shutting your mouth.

 

Oh, yes- creativity is always an option and it always works!

 

So much love and blessings to all of you creative souls!

-jodi

 

 

Here's the link to my website if you would like to purchase a copy of the  book! http://www.jodilynnlamure.com/book.html