Changing Directions

Well, I got some news last week that could've been pretty disappointing. I put a lot of work into a project that didn’t result in the outcome a person who went through all the work should want.

It’s as if I were running a marathon and just as I got to the finish line, I stopped to tie my shoe and decide if I really even wanted to cross the finish line. After watching several people pass by me, I finish the race, but really only to congratulate the winners because while I was tying my shoe, I realized it wasn’t what I even wanted when I began running. Somewhere over the miles, the direction changed. As I watched the crowd surround the winners, feelings of relief and freedom were what surrounded me.

I realize have been writing a lot more lately. Everything around me seems to inspire me. The topics are finding me. All I have been doing is acting on the inspirations.

It is easy to complicate the heck out of life and overlook the subtle turns the journey takes you. Once we have made a decision about a goal or direction, it’s easy to keep working toward outdated ideals and desires. We can travel far beyond the turn we were being guided to take if we become too fixated on an outcome versus the journey.

About a week before the news came in, a new direction for my journey appeared. Over the next several days I wondered if the two directions could really work together, or if I would in fact find the fork in the road and a decision to make. Well, a clue to the answer lies in the last sentence. Two directions can’t in fact be the same direction. We can bring aspects of the one direction into the new direction, but we can’t walk in two directions, scattering and separating our energy.

I didn’t need to make the decision alone. It kinda took care of itself it seems. I now know without doubt the direction I am being guided to take. What was really amazing, is I got to feel the difference between the two paths as they presented themselves. I was given the opportunity to feel the excitement and inspiration behind the right path versus the path that wasn’t really for me to travel at this time. This new opportunity that presented itself felt meaningful beyond any selfish desires. The original direction wasn’t bad, but it would have removed me from being a part of the process and would have forced me to focus more on the destination.

As I’ve said before, the destination is not a fun place for the artist. As a creator, I want to be the paint not the purchase. I want to sweep across the canvas, dance like music notes on the lines that lead me, spin on the wheel in the hands of creation, and feel the warmth and peace of the sunset in the photograph. This is what living creatively feels like to me!

I am so grateful I don’t have to do the decision making on my own.  I am also grateful to have had the opportunity to feel the difference between the two options for use in future decision making! It’s supposed to feel good― really good, and bigger than I am capable of imagining. Then all I have to do is trust and go with it. Let it lead me where I need to go, even though it may never be what it started out to be or where I thought I was going. I've realized I'm not taking the longer route by changing direction right before the finish line. I'm taking the creative route, that's always changing, dreaming, exploring, discovering and always building.

Namasté.